Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Struggling To Have A Baby? It Happened To Me Too.


A Conversation Between Man and Wife - Are Donor Eggs Right For You?

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is harder. Especially when you’re hoping to start a family and not getting pregnant. Whatever stage of “trying for a baby” you find yourself in, that sinking feeling that accompanies a negative pregnancy test is enough to test any relationship. When the results come back unsuccessful time after time, the frayed nerves, anger and sadness can push your marriage to its limits.


If you’ve tried rounds of IVF and been told that your own eggs aren’t viable, perhaps you’re thinking about IVF with a frozen egg donor. With major advances in modern fertility treatment, this is now a very real option for couples struggling with infertility. But it’s not a decision to be taken lightly. In fact, it’s probably the most important one you’ll ever make, so it’s crucial that you’re both on the same page.

The Emotional Journey

Not every couple trying to conceive will experience the same problems on their journey to having children. Some will find out early on that their chances of having a baby together are limited or unlikely. Others will be tested multiple times, only to be told there’s no medical reason why things aren’t happening. But however you and your partner reach the point of IVF with frozen donor eggs, the emotions you’ll experience are the same.

Because, let’s face it. Problems of any kind are never pleasant. But when you’re dealing with problems that stand between you and your dream, things can get ugly. It’s a rare couple who hasn’t found themselves in the midst of a highly charged emotional argument when failing to conceive.

A woman pumped full of hormones finding out that her eggs aren’t viable isn’t easy to console. And her husband desperately scraping for the right words and the strength she needs will push him to his limits. Whether you’ve had to obsess over ovulation calendars and basal temperature checks, or go through invasive testing, one thing is for sure: starting a family is an emotional journey.

Finding Out

Receiving the news that her eggs are no longer viable is devastating for any woman. And watching her absorb the facts can be heart-breaking on her husband. As a couple, you can expect to experience all kinds of emotions. From anger to jealousy, bitterness to rage; grief for the children you’ll never have together and fear of the opinions of others.

Before you decide that you want to try donor egg IVF, be sure to spend a healthy, long period processing your emotions. Don’t try to sweep them under the carpet or they’ll come back to haunt you later on.


You may find that counselling helps you to work through your feelings. Or maybe you’ll try mindfulness, meditation, or support groups. The main thing is that you and your partner can speak freely and honestly. Do whatever works for you as a couple and lets you feel comfortable expressing your fears and doubts before starting the donor egg process.

Accepting the Situation


Many couples worry about using frozen donor eggs. They wonder whether they’ll still have a connection to a child who doesn’t share their DNA. Perhaps they are concerned what their family and friends will think. Anticipating the reactions of their future children when they’re grown up enough to tell them can also be an issue.

All these emotions are normal. Many couples take comfort from the fact that their child will share their husband’s DNA. Also, when using frozen donor eggs, the wife will carry their baby throughout the pregnancy. That’s no small thing. You’ll always feel an emotional connection to a child you carry in your womb for nine months. The pain, joy, miracle of birth and beauty of nursing your own baby.

If you’re worried that your child won’t look like yours, using frozen donor eggs gives you access to a wide selection of donors. You can choose one who has similar physical traits to you and shares your hair colour, eye colour, size, height; and even education levels.

Have the Family You’ve Dreamt Of

Some couples say that they still wonder at times what their biological children might have looked like. They may even experience sadness from time to time. But when they see their children smile and know that they wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for them, those feelings quickly melt away.


Using frozen donor eggs allows you to fight infertility head-on and win. You can start when you’re ready, without having to synch your menstrual cycle to the donor’s. You can also avoid any emotional interactions, as there’s no need to ever meet the donor... You can start as soon as you’re emotionally and physically ready.

Fighting infertility can put a strain on your relationship. But now you have the option to build the family of your dreams. So don’t give up and don’t let infertility damage your relationship. Using frozen donor eggs could be the answer you’ve been searching for.

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