I just wasn't feeling Christmas this year! although Tillys toys were sorted months ago, as were a few of Kimmy's I had no idea what to buy Zach! I do miss the days where I used to spend £100's of pounds on the kids on an Xbox or Laptop, It seemed so much easier to get them that kind of present. But as they got older, they ask for less or they don't like to worry me as they know money is short. This makes Christmas shopping extremely hard! I know Kim has wanted an Apple Watch for as long as they went on sale over the last year, but I didn't have the money to buy one. This really saddened me and added pressure to Christmas as I felt like I couldn't give her what she wanted. Then would you believe it? 3 days before Christmas I got an email, saying I had won a watch for a survey I had participated in. I remember doing the survey and thinking to myself 'What have I got to lose?' So then there I was suddenly being the owner of a watch! Christmas suddenly turned around for me. Still it mean't having to spend more on Zach ....... it never ends, does it?
So I managed to put Christmas together, I even managed to go to Midnight Mass. Something I didn't want to do because it was Beth's church and I knew if I went, I would face questions of how Beth was getting on ...... I found it extremely hard to tell the truth. But nobody judged anyone and they said that there was always a place for her to use as her sanctuary. After getting Tilly to sleep at 2.15am, I half hardheartedly threw some stockings together, now normally the Christmas stockings take take weeks to prepare, these were thrown together in 10 minutes as I wildly rummaged under the tree for small gifts to shove in the stockings that had been purchased that day from good old Poundland! Stockings were left on the stairs and I climbed into bed.
Next morning I wanted Tilly to sleep in for as long as she could because Kimmy was working - as a carer, someone has to work and she actually volunteered to do it. Tilly was so good and waited until Kim finished work before even asking to open her gifts. Then we all sat round the tree tearing at paper, making it a race to see who could open their present first. Top of Tilly's Christmas list were A Ferror Rocher pyramid (yes like the one on the advert with the presidents party!), A Go-Pro (she won it in a competiton with Energiser, I didn't tell her and instead spent 2 months convincing her she wanted one) and some my little pony's. Well Santa Clause didn't disappoint! she was so over the moon with her Go- Pro and woke me up at 7.30 on Boxing Day to take her filming! Christmas was a success with Tilly and I am sure it was all she dreamed and more. We went right out of our way to try and make it as normal as possible as she was missing her sister so much that it broke my heart.
We had a huge Christmas Dinner cooked by Zach and we are now left with so many leftovers, days later! We played board games and watched Dr Who, so it was your usual Christmas day. I didn't drink this year, normally I drink all day long - I very rarely drink at home but at Christmas it feels naughty. This year I just didn't feel it. I think it seemed a really long festive period with the extra bank holiday and I suppose I found it isolating from people. To say I am looking forward to going back to work is an understatement, some normality will be lovely. The tree came down the morning after boxing day, i was so glad to have less clutter in my home and for there to be more light in the front room, now the monstrosity of the tree had gone - I earn't the name of The Grinch, when I took it down, but it felt so refreshing to put it all away for the year. Christmas bedding has been stripped and washed, placed into the airing cupboard for next year and now we have a whole year to prepare for Christmas 2016!
How was yours?