Saturday, 20 June 2015

7 Uncool Things You Should Avoid Telling Or Asking A New Mum - A Guest Post

Today i have a guest post from Alina who blogs over at www.allmumstalk.com  Who offers advice about what not to say to a new mum. 

Not long ago I was what you may call a 'new mum'. Tired, thrilled, amazed, clumsy, scared, confused human being. Yes, the 9 months contemplated unknown had finally released itself to me and the amazing process of motherhood had suddenly begun...

Yet, despite the huge support I got from my great friends and beautiful family (for which I'm being so grateful!), there were always things that some people asked me which made me go through all funny raw emotions at once. They were either simply innocent questions or subtle mean comments meant to be funny, still they all made me mad, unhappy or even got me burst into tears each time I was hearing them.
Here is a list of 7 things you should avoid asking a new mum if you don't want to be cried at, shout at or even slapped on (you never know how the crazy hormones may end up working a new mum!)

1. Your body will never be the same. Will it?
Do avoid this question and don't ever make it a statement! I never thought there would be so many people asking me this, but to my present consternation there still are curious spirits who want to find out how my body changed. I like to believe that now, one year after giving birth, I lost pretty much all the baby weight I gained during pregnancy and I'm the same as before the bundled happened. But even so, uncomfortable question, people!

2. You look tired. Are you getting any sleep?
Silly you...Of course I'm not! And thank you for reminding me I have to check again the bags underneath my eyes. Didn't do that since morning! And yes I know, a bit of make up never hurts, but no, I don't have the time just yet so you do it on you! I promise not to get jealous you look more rested!

3. Show me the stretch marks. I'm sure there are stretch marks.
Ok, I'm lucky enough (partially due to a good daily moisturising with creams and lots of oils during and after pregnancy), I managed to get 0 stretch marks. However this 'show me' absurd demand happened to my new mum friend who, of course, didn't take it too well and gave the curious chap an interesting invitation to checking out on the entrance door. Then quickly locked it.

4. Are you bottle feeding?
Some think this is a discreet way of finding out if you're breastfeeding. As if it's their concern, but if it helps them sleep better at night...I'd say, let's see...am I or am I not breastfeeding? Wait a little bit longer, I may get a boob out to answer your question! Some women wish to breastfeed from the bottom of their heart, but simply can't. Others have other reasons and we are not to judge any of them. Or even ask.

5. Are you going back to work?
I just got a kid out of me. Isn't this enough work for now? I don't know, let me see how this motherhood thing fits my diary. Oh wait, come back in 6 months, I may have the answer then. Or not. Till then, you'd better go now, I'm pretty sure you're at late at work.

6. How fast do you think you'll lose the baby weight?
As fast as I'm going to take you out of this door here and lock it after you're gone (see, I'm learning from my friend!) So not cool to ask this either...While struggling with jiggling sleep deprivation, funny hormones and a tiny human, a conversation about loosing weight and diet is so not welcome. Give it time, we'll get there too...

7. He/ she looks nothing like you.
This was and still is my main shocker question (maybe because almost every day I hear this!). Thank you for not telling me at least I may be the babysitter and not the mum! And thank you for reminding me that I worked so hard on creating and growing this child inside of me and now he/she won't even share the tiniest facial feature, so next time lie. Lies are highly appreciated as long as we, new mums, hear what we want to hear. Or hold your tongue, that's good too.

You can Follow Alina on the following social networks
Facebook: Allmumstalk
Instagram: Allmumstalk
Twitter: allmumstalkhere
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