Dear 25 year old Vicky,
I know things are tough for you right now with being separated from the father of your 3 children aged, 6,5 and 3 but i can tell you that things will get better.
You have spent 2 years begging your husband to come home every weekend, you have had to put up with your son being snatched by his father and you really need to move forward now. You dont need to make things hard on yourself, and people are offering you help so take it.
You are fighting for some kind of relationship between your children and their father, yet he isn't interested as he said he cant cope with them whilst they are little. He has told you he will come back when the children are older and less trouble. Please don't hold out for this, this isnt a kind of father you would want for your children.
Your children are hurt by their father with the bitching he does about you and he isn't paying a penny towards CSA - you will have a long battle on there!
You will move on, you will give your kids a new start in life and he will finally walk out of their life - only remembering then on birthdays and christmas. A tenner for their birthday and £20 at xmas, seems to make your children think that he loves them very much, and all the neglect seems to be forgotten. I know this hurts as it seems like all you do gets forgotten, but it isn't and as they get older your kids will understand who has been there nurturing them and bringing them up. They will appreciate in the long run, who has been there for them and supported the choices they made.
You will be criticized for a few years to come for the choices you have made in the past, but believe me, you will make these mistakes as you get older too, but its the mistakes that makes you the person you are. You will learn from the mistakes and realise who is your friend and who isnt. You will understand who has your children's best interest at heart and who doesnt.
So let it go, and move on. Your a great parent to your kids and you dont need your ex, in a few years you will find the right time to divorce your husband and he will make life hard for you for years to come - but your strong!
love from your 41 year old self