Thursday, 16 January 2014
So Tilly is due to start 'big school' in september :( . It doesnt seem like 5 minutes ago that i started my road to recovery after having PND, and actually taking note that i have this little being that needs her mummy. And here i am now, having to send her to school because the law says i have to.
I am trying to tell people that she isnt old enough to go to school as i have only had her for 18 months of her life (the first two years are a blur and i am sure they are memories in my brain, but need to look hard to find them.). I even looked at keeping her home another year untill she was actually 5 years old, but in reality that means that she will then lose out on making freindships with her classmates and she will get behind on her learning. So with a heavy heart, a bottle of vodka and tears in my eyes i enrolled her into school.
As much as i would love to keep her home forever, i know i need to let go and let her go and explore the world herself. And at the moment my nursery bill is £54 a day for three days a week ( the other two are funded) and i will actually save money in the long run.
Its been many years since i have done the school run and when i think of the times i was late and the arguements i had about Beth wearing red shoes (thats all she would wear), i really hope school is much smoother this time and it would probably help if i was chilled out a bit more.
The school is down the road from me (a 20 minute walk) and i should be able to drop Tilly off in the morning and then start the commute to work. They run a breakfast club and afterschool club, so they cater for working families.
Then there is the fact that i have to get Tilly to understand that she cant wear what she wants to school and it isnt like nursery where she can wear what she likes, when she likes (rapunzel dress one day and snow white the next). Tilly still occaisionally likes to have an afternoon nap, so that will be a shock for her starting in september too.
I have 6 months to prepare us for school (eek), i need to learn to really cut the apron strings and let her go. Its only the past couple of months that i actually let her use her full nursery funded hours, and thats because i had to due to work. I need to get her to learn to write her name because she is so lazy and wont even hold the pen properley, let alone write her own name. We have now told her that her name (matilda) starts with a princess crown ....... if you cant beat them, join the world of princesses lol. but this seems to be working as she is recognising the letter 'M' when we go out.
So whilst i wallow in my self pity at having to let her go to school in september, i will keep on preparing her and think of all the money i will save not having to pay nursery fees.