Monday, 18 November 2013
embracing Mid life
This week i am going to be 41, when i was coming up to my 40th birthday i started to panic that life was passing me by and i went out and partied hard on a weekend at butlins and pulled a few men ;). It was then that i realised that being 40 wouldnt be so bad. To be honest being forty is no different to any other age. I still do the things i did at 20 or 30 and i am still irresponsible lol.
I have been thinking about turning 41 and I am actually embracing it again. i have a new job to look forward to, i feel sexy and i still love to party. I have my perfect little family and I have my sisters from the sister shack and I have my friends too. Things are pretty good at the moment and being middle aged and starting a new job is actually quite an adventure to look forward to.
Sometimes looking at myself at 41 in a different angle helps, sometimes being a 41 year old mum of a 3 yr old mkes me feel old but other times being 41 and mother to a 21 yr old and going out like sisters makes me feel young. L wasnt going to go out to celebrate but friends talked me round and i now have a fab night out to look forward to :D
My PND seems in the far and distant past although the scars still remain. The past few years have been a learning curve and my learning along the way will hopefully help others to recover.
Hopefully christmas will be less stressful this year as i will not be getting my house repossessed due to unpaid rent (a fault of my own) and I have already finished my christmas shopping for Zach and Tilda (although i keep buying more) We are putting money away for christmas food this year and we seem to be a bit more organised than ever. So maybe its a sign that at 41 I am starting to grow up and be responsible.