Sometimes being Tillys mummy is still hard to do, she is my little angel and i love her so much but sometimes it just gets too much. I feel like i am losing touch with my friends as i am so busy with school and work and the days off i want to spend with tilly, taking her out or doing things. i feel like something has to give. I am behind on my school work and cant see a way to catch up. I sit down to do it and Tilly wants to climb all over me or sit on my knee, i try to do it in bed and she is kicking me (as she keeps getting in my bed).
I suppose i should of expected a downer after the high of wanting to decorate the room and wanting to do it NOW!, then all of a sudden reality kicks in and you realise you have to finish the job, pay back the money you borrowed to but the decorating materials and put everything back in its place. I want to cry and i want to give up college, then i dont know what i want.
Tomorrow i must speak to my college tutor and tell her how i feel instead of going in with the fake smile.
Tonight we have put tilly in her own bed, for the first time in months, i have got into the habit of her sleeping in my bed, and i knew it was wrong - but still did it. so far she isnt taking to it very well and has got up a few times already. we will persevere with it and i will not give in to her.